Game Thread 7/14: Nationals at Phillies

This is our first year in Philadelphia with a Bastille Day that doesn’t feature the celebration on Fairmount Avenue at the Eastern State Penitentiary. For those unfamiliar, it was a crowded, sweaty, raucous affair in which the events of Bastille Day—or events like them, performed by the Bearded Ladies cabaret, who described it as “both intellectual and accessible, entertaining and meaningful, stupid good and just plain stupid”—unfolded on the ramparts of our stoic old jail. This was followed by Tastykakes being thrown from above into the masses below. It was a joy. But no more.

Instead, on Bastille Day in Philadelphia, we get this matinee between the Phillies and Nationals. Here’s hoping this is as tasty a performance by the Phillies offense as the Bearded Ladies would have put on. But Max Scherzer is pitching, so it might be as deadly as the, you know. Actual Bastille Day.