Let’s get to know 2019 all-star J.T. Realmuto, a player who has been on the Phillies for five months

You know what’s crazy? I realized while writing this that I don’t think I’ve ever heard J.T. Realmuto speak; or at least, I could not, if asked, describe his voice. I know he’s here, on the Phillies; I know he’s good, and who the team sent to Miami in the trade that brought him here (Still think about Sixto sometimes). I know I get most concerned when it’s him who is being evaluated for health issues, as the drop-off to Andrew Knapp is one of the most horrifying things about this Phillies team.

But as far as knowing him, even only as well as fans outside the organization know any of the players we watch, I feel like I, you know. Don’t. In researching questions for this quiz/survey for the rest of The Good Phight’s staff, I realized part of the reason for that is that Realmuto hasn’t really gone out of his way to be interesting. I’m sure he is interesting to his family and his closest pals, but obviously to us, an audience that knows him largely through TV screens, there doesn’t seem to be a lot to know.

What we do know—or will know—is what follows. Let us, as a group, get to know the catcher who is representing the Phillies at the All-Star Game in Cleveland a little better by reviewing the results of a rigorous J.T. Realmuto quiz that sort of becomes an evaluation of future thoughts at the end.

How do you pronounce “Realmuto?”

1. Reel-moo-toh (25%)
2. Reel-myoo-toh (41%)
3. Re-ahl-moo-toh (25%)
4. Re-ahl-myoo-toh (8%)

Our staff of about 11 or 12 survey-takers, I honestly can’t remember who works here anymore, seemed pretty heavily on the side of pronouncing that invisible “y” we put in J.T.’s last name. But according to Wikipedia, that first answer is the correct one. Take that, us.

Where was J.T. Born?

1. Miami (0%)
2. Oklahoma (50%)
3. Ohio (8%)
4. Ontario (0%)
5. Nebraska (8%)
6. A forested hamlet, surrounded by bemused woodland creatures (33%)

To some of us, J.T. simply appeared out of Miami one day, so it would make sense if we believed that he had just materialized there. But it looks like no one believed that, but did believe that he is a fairy tale character of some kind. Neither are true, turns out—J.T.’s an Oklahoma boy, and had even planned to attend OSU like a good Oklahoma boy would.

What does “J.T.” stand for?

1. Jason Thomas (41%)
2. Jacob Tyler (33%)
3. Jimothy Timothy (8%)
4. Just Taters (16%)

I don’t mean, like, what are his values, but rather, what do the literal letters themselves stand for in “J.T.?” A lot of people got tripped up by that first answer, which I must admit is so perfectly vanilla that it’s believable. But no, it’s the only other normal-sounding one. I would have voted for “Jimothy Timothy” if this had been asking what I want it to stand for.

J.T.’s Uncle John is...

1. A two-time Olympic gold medalist (25%)
2. Wanted for rare bird thievery (25%)
3. The first one to call him “J.T.,” against his parents’ wishes (8%)
4. The owner of the truck company that transports multiple MLB team’s gear to spring training (33%)
5. A professional eSports athlete under the handle “Knightm33r” (8%)

Ha ha, I put enough weird details in that fourth one to convince people it was real—but it wasn’t. Total lie. Man, I’m cool.

Anyway, it’s the first one. He’s a wrestler.

J.T. won the Player of the Year Award in high school due in part to which staggering statistic from 42 games?

1. 119 RBI (16%)
2. .495 BA (25%)
3. 35 HR (25%)
4. 1.415 OPS (25%)
5. Accidentally held bat upside-down and still hit walk-off triple (8%)

I know we don’t value RBI around here, but J.T. broke the national record for knocking in runs as a high schooler with 119 of them. His BA was actually .595, which is even more absurd, and he hit 29 HR. I couldn’t find anything that indicated he ever held the bat in any way but the correct way.

What did one reporter find amusing about J.T.’s bedroom in high school?

1. Number of ticket stubs from Bowling for Soup concerts (16%)
2. Box of unsent love letters (8%)
3. Nothing in room except for mattress on floor (0%)
4. Rigid cleanliness and organization (58%)
5. Self portrait hung on mirror (16%)

You should go back and read, if you can, the profiles in Oklahoma-area newspapers that were produced around J.T.’s rise to prominence on the national baseball scene. The kid is just so pure, and so boring (at least from the outside): Straight A’s, elite athlete in basketball, football, and baseball, room totally organized, everything folded. They try so hard to find a quirk to make him stand out, but he was just exactly the sort of driven, outwardly stable high schoolers who totally perplexed me when I was his age.

The Marlins converted J.T. to a full-time catcher from what position after drafting him?

1. First base (8%)
2. Pitcher (0%)
3. Third base (25%)
4. Shortstop (50%)
5. Back-up catcher (16%)

Seems like this wasn’t new information to a lot of people other than me. Very well.

Once promoted to the Marlins’ big club in 2015, what did J.T. do better than any other catcher in baseball?

1. Hit longest home run (8%)
2. Fastest foot speed to first base (58%)
3. Threw out all base stealers (16%)
4. Best pitching staff ERA (16%)

Again, doesn’t seem like I fooled anyone with this one. In retrospect, the other three options all seem like things we’d be more aware of if they were true. When that hamstring isn’t bothering him, Realmuto is still at the part of his career when he can fly. Sure, we all dread that part of a catcher’s career when his knees turn backwards. But for no, weee! Look at him go!

What has impressed you most about Realmuto?

1. That pop for gunning down base stealers (58%)
2. Middle of the order punch (0%)
3. Still don’t know what his voice sounds like (38%)
4. Handling of pitching staff (7%)

You don’t think about it a lot, but when a runner takes off, having a catcher who can neutralize him is such a boon. Though when I realized that thing about his voice that I mentioned, I couldn’t believe it. True, though. It was true about Scott Kingery until about two weeks ago, too.

Does J.T. stay with the Phillies past 2020?

1. Yes (85%)
2. No
3. Want to say yes, but probably no (15%)

Hopeful bunch, here.

Here’s hoping we have a young, impactful catcher who is only now entering his prime and can anchor this staff—and occasionally the lineup—for years to come. May this All-Star Game be the first of many for Jimothy Timothy, and may he next year be accompanied by a few of his contemporaries as well.