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El Boogo Grande: Marlins 19, Phillies 11


MLB: Philadelphia Phillies at Miami Marlins Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

The Phillies played a baseball game today, although if you watched the last six innings, you might not call it that. They were absolutely destroyed by a Marlins team that, inexplicably has our number and no business playing baseball against anyone else.

Vince Velasquez started, and even drove in a run in the early 7-0 lead, but the wheels absolutely came off in the third. He hit a guy, recorded an out, and gave up two more hits to load the bases.

Then he hit another guy. Scoring a run. This should have gotten the bullpen going. But Velasquez stayed out there on the sewage mound, and allowed three more hits and six runs.

Juan Nicasio came in, finally, allowed a hit on one of his two pitches, and hurt his shoulder. Nick Pivetta finally wrapped up the inning, before allowing five runs of his own in the fifth. Ranger Suarez allowed three runs and Jared Hughes allowed four runs.

There were two highlights today. The first was the first 2.5 innings. The second was the Friday Night Roundtable, where we learned T-Mac’s college nickname: El Boogo Grande. He was joined by Scott ‘SFB’ Franzke, Larry ‘Otis’ Andersen, and Ben ‘Big Irish’ Davis. El Boogo Grande.

This was an unceremonious disaster. An embarrassing disaster. Changes need to be made in this organization. I don’t know what they are, but changes need to be made. Maybe they can wait until October, but they need to be made. New coaching staff, new pitching staff, new training staff, something. A 7-0 lead against the absolute joke of the National League turns into an eight run loss.

There’s plenty of blame to go around. The Marlins hit well, but the Phils didn’t make it hard for them. Velasquez, Pivetta, Suarez and Hughes earned plenty of blame. Kapler earned some blame. Klentak’s acquisitions, the training staff, the pitching coach, others.

This team is deeply flawed.

One guy who bears absolutely no responsibility for this debacle is Bryce Harper.

The Phils will go for a rematch tomorrow, with Zach Eflin taking the mound against Jordan Yamamoto. Also the Players’ Weekend uniforms are bad. The nicknames are cool, but the black and white aesthetic is bad.