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MLB hater nation: Chicago White Sox

If Easy-E and Barack Obama can’t make these guys relevant, nobody can

Chicago White Sox v Washington Nationals Photo by Gary Fabiano-Pool/Getty Images

In preparation for a possible 2020 season, I’m going around the major leagues and writing mean things about each team. This time, I’m headed to the south side of Chicago to talk about Chi-Town’s second favorite team.

Brief history of the franchise

The White Sox have been around since 1901, and despite being generally more successful than their counterparts to the north of Chicago, they’ve captured far less of the city’s attention. Adding insult to injury, they’re also seen as MLB’s less-important team with Sox in the name.

If you think about it, the White Sox should be an iconic franchise. They got a lot of attention when “Shoeless” Joe Jackson was a key figure in the movie Field of Dreams. And then, thanks to rappers like Easy-E and his cohorts in NWA, the team’s hat became very popular.

In my final year of Little League, my team was named the White Sox. We got to wear replica uniforms. It was by far the coolest uniform I ever got to wear, although that’s not saying much. A few years, the league didn’t even give us pants (even the friggin’ Bad News Bears got pants!) so kids would show up wearing jeans or shorts. (Considering the team’s uniform history, it would have been more fitting if the White Sox uniforms were the ones with shorts.)

I also spent two years on a team called the Rangers, which inexplicably had green uniforms with yellow trim. People said we looked like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. (And no, I’m not sharing a picture!)

Anyway, back to the White Sox and their squandering of opportunities for coolness. Remember when the Arkansas Razorbacks capitalized on Bill Clinton’s fandom to win the NCAA Tournament? It’s pathetic that the Sox weren’t able to pull off something similar with Barack Obama in the White House.

Maybe fans still remember the time the Sox wore shorts, and can’t take the team seriously no matter how cool their current uniforms get.

You probably haven’t noticed, but the Sox are currently in an eleven-year streak of not making the playoffs. Because there have been so many uber-awful teams - including some in their own division - the Sox haven’t gotten much credit(?) for being a bad team. And over that eleven-year span, they’ve only finished in last place once. But make no mistake: This has been a bad decade-plus for the franchise.

What happened in 2019

As you probably guessed from the above section, the Sox didn’t make the playoffs. They finished in third place, comfortably ahead of the two 100-loss teams, yet nowhere near the top two teams in the division.

The offense wasn’t very good, which seems odd at first glance, considering the presence of players such as Jose Abreu, Yoan Moncada, and Eloy Jimenez. But then you see that about half the lineup consisted of below-average (and in some cases, that description is generous) hitters like Yolmer Sanchez, Leury Garcia, Jon Jay, and Yonder Alonso.

Speaking of Jay and Alonso, they were both signed mostly as attempts to entice Manny Machado to join them as a free agent. However, Machado went to San Diego, while Jay and Alonso were worth a combined -1.7 wins above replacement.

The starting rotation consisted of All-Star Lucas Giolito, and a bunch of guys who weren’t Lucas Giolito. I’m really not sure why this team’s record wasn’t worse than it was, but I guess that’s the benefit of sharing a division with a couple of 100-loss teams.

The manager

Rick Renteria will be entering his fourth season as White Sox manager. Is he a good manager? There’s no evidence for that since the team has lost an average of 95 games a season during his tenure. I realize the team hasn’t exactly been in “win now” mode, but at some point, doesn’t the team have to show something?

Phillies vs. White Sox: The offseason rivalry

The Phillies and White Sox don’t have much of an on-field rivalry, but the teams have competed for key free agents the past two years, and the Phillies came out ahead both times.

Before the 2019 season, the White Sox were known to be in pursuit of either Manny Machado or Bryce Harper. How did that turn out for the Sox?

And this past offseason, both teams vied for the services of free agent pitcher Zack Wheeler. Apparently, Wheeler’s wife pulled a Kristen Lee, and convinced him to turn down Chicago’s more lucrative offer.

What to expect in 2020

The White Sox were certainly busy. They improved their lineup by adding Yasmani Grandal and Edwin Encarnación, and bolstered the rotation with veterans Dallas Keuchel and Gio Gonzalez.

After watching a bunch of replacement players take regular turns in the rotation in 2019, I understand that Sox fans are excited about having some established veterans around. So it would be cruel to point out that both men are on the downsides of their careers, and moving from the National to American League has often not worked out well for aging pitchers.

They’re still probably not close to the Twins at the top of the division, but the improvements - and a lot of games against the Tigers and Royals - could propel the White Sox into Wild Card contention. Will anyone in Chicago care either way? Or will they be too busy worrying about how the Cubs are doing?