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Miami Marlins v New York Mets
Keith Hernandez doesn’t measure up well to other famous Keiths
Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

What lies be-Keith: Phillies vs. Mets series preview

The Phillies will take on the Mets, much to Keith Hernandez’s dismay

It’s been a minute since the Phillies have played the Mets. After a slew of early season games between the two, this will be their first series since late May. That probably suited Mets announcer Keith Hernandez just fine since he doesn’t enjoy announcing games against the Phillies.

What Keith and the Mets may not realize is that there have been some changes since they last saw the Phils. Joe Girardi is no longer in charge, and the Phillies are a much more dangerous team. If they are expecting this to be an easy weekend, they are in for a rude awakening.

New York Mets

Record: 73-39 (First place in National League East, 7 games ahead)

The last time they Met

It was late May, but the Phillies were already facing a sizable deficit in the NL East standings. The Mets had gotten off to a strong start to the season, and the Phillies seemingly had to win the series to maintain any dreams of a division title. Apparently Joe Girardi didn’t share that sense of urgency.

His decision to start Falter in the opener and push his regular starters back a day didn’t work out so well. The Phillies were swept in the series, and less than a week later, Girardi became the ex-manager.

Who’s cold?

The Mets didn’t think they needed to do much at the trade deadline, and one of the few moves they did make has backfired. Reliever Mychal Givens was supposed to shore up the Mets’ bullpen, but since his arrival, he’s allowed six runs in three innings.

Remember when it was the Phillies who were the NL East team that made disastrous reliever acquisitions at the trade deadline?

Keith-off

Keith Hernandez doesn’t like to announce Phillies games. According to him, it’s because he finds their play to be aesthetically displeasing.

It seems more likely that Hernandez is just a lazy bum who doesn’t like working and looked for an excuse for a few days off. Or maybe he’s scared of encountering Phillies fans who might say not-so-nice things to him. He’s apparently very scared of interacting with people.

Neuman was right to call him a “Pretty Boy.”

I’m not sure what Hernandez expected when he said something like that about the Phillies. As always “Nobody likes us, we don’t care” a complete lie, and actually Philly fans care a whole lot, and will drag you endlessly if you say anything bad about us or our teams. This even extends to the team’s announcers.

You’d think Keith would like the attention since this is the first time anyone has really given a crap about him since he was on Seinfeld.

As a fun exercise, I’ll compare Hernandez to other famous Keiths, and see who comes out ahead.

Keith Urban

I’m not a big country music fan, so I can’t actually name a single one of Urban’s songs. However, I did learn that he’s married to Nicole Kidman, and that’s a major negative. Even if we overlook how much of Tom Cruise’s insanity may have rubbed off on her, I’m absolutely sick of going to see a movie at an AMC theater and sitting through Kidman’s “tribute” to the movies. After already sitting through fifteen previews and ten commercials, I don’t need to hear a five-minute speech about the wonder and majesty of going to the movies when I’m there to see Minions: The Rise of Gru. Just start the show!

Edge: Keith Hernandez

Keith Jackson (the former NFL player)

Keith Jackson was a Pro Bowler for the Eagles, which normally would give him a huge advantage here, but he has some red on his ledger. His drop cost the team in the Fog Bowl and he left the team via free agency as quickly as possible. Still, I’m not going to rate a Met over an Eagle.

Edge: Keith Jackson

Keith Jackson (the announcer)

Jackson is one of the greatest sports announcers of all-time, and “Whoa Nellie” is a truly iconic catchphrase. Does Keith Hernandez have any catch phrases of note? Even if he does, I’m confident they’re not as good as that.

Edge: Keith Jackson

Keith Van Horn

Back in the early 2000’s, the Philadelphia 76ers unsuccessfully attempted to find a viable secondary offense on option behind Allen Iverson. They tried Van Horn for one season, and it didn’t go too well. I also remember him perpetually having a stupid look on his face. Here’s a fun challenge: Find a picture of Van Horn when he doesn’t have a goofy expression.

Edge: Keith Hernandez

Keith David

David was a well-respected actor with memorable roles in movies such as Platoon, The Thing, and Requiem for a Dream. You can enjoy some of his best quotes here: (WARNING - Some clips may be NSFW)

Edge: Keith David

Keith Richards

You know who wouldn’t avoid broadcasting Phillies games because of poor defense and mean fans? Keith Richards, that’s who. He’s possibly the most legendary musician of all time, and it’s an insult to him to even be compared to someone of Keith Hernandez’s caliber.

Edge: Keith Richards

Trivia

Last series’ answer: Rhys Hoskins (8 in 2017), Dom Brown (5 in 2013), and Maikel Franco (5 in 2018) are the only Phillies with five+ home run seasons against the Marlins in the past decade. Nobody got all three, but MoButterMakerBlues got two of three.

This series’ question: Since Citi Field opened in 2009, three different Phillies pitchers have double digit strikeout games there. (Two of them doing it three times). Who are they?

Thanks to my new followers

Last time, I asked for people to follow me on Twitter, and maybe it’s coincidental, but the following users did: @BWildeMTL, @_nbutkowski, @pdosher, @JackCranmer23, @tiny_package, @amatthewsmusic, @FramedAce, @Mephistoph_BFBB, @psobolewskiPhD, @eszmutko. Thanks for the follow, and I’ll try not to drive you off too quickly.

If anyone follows me and I don’t follow you back, all it usually takes is a reply to one of my tweets. As long as you’re not a bot, super extreme political, or completely annoying, I’ll usually follow back.

I also asked for donations to Heifer International, and if anyone did make such a donation, please let me know in the comments so I can acknowledge your generosity. And if you didn’t donate before, feel free to do so now!

Closing thought

The Mets got a huge break in having the majority of their games against the Phillies early in the season. The pre-June Phillies possessed an inconsistent offense and a bullpen which was often mis-managed.

Let’s hope the Mets don’t realize that things have changed. They might be a little surprised when instead of dealing with Jeurys Familia and Corey Knebel in the final two innings, instead they’ll be facing Seranthony Dominguez and David Robertson. And they’ll also be facing a Phillies lineup in which Alec Bohm and Bryson Stott are contributors instead of weaknesses.

Gamethread 9/25: Braves at Phillies

Baseball is a game of inches, or so I’m told: Braves 6, Phillies 3

Gamethread 9/24: Braves at Phillies